Europe's Large Hadron Collider just fired up. It's a $10 billion particle accelerator designed to probe the mysteries of the universe. The downside of this project is the small chance it will create a black hole and annihilate the galaxy. It will take months for the machine to be fully functional, so I'm thinking that since the universe could end now at any moment, I really should go out on a date.

I have heard the thought multiple times from different sources that the reason to meet a significant other is to have "a witness to your life". When I was younger, I thought this was baloney, but as I get, ahem, older, I sense more and more that it may be true, although I'm not sure exactly why I'm changing my mind.

So in a nutshell, I'm looking for a mutual life witness before the Hadron Collider causes the universe to implode.

A bit about me:

I am relaxed and laidback and believe in my own watered-down version of Zen and Tao: I believe that the information contained in a life sequence requires no less information than is contained in the sequence itself. Each sequence is unique, which means you cannot predict a specific future from looking at the past. I make choices knowing that I can only influence the statistical distribution of possible outcomes, and that expecting a distinct outcome is foolish.

I rest often and engage in a variety of recreational activities in unpredictable bursts. I sleep. I sing. I dance. I eat. I drink.

I was once described as "an introvert who's not shy". People often comment that I don't say much, but it's usually a doozy when I do.

I was once described by a woman as "smart, funny, cute." The enthusiasm in her voice trailed off exponentially as her utterance proceeded, so the order of the adjectives was probably not an accident. [You get nerd bonus points if you can draw me a qualitatively correct graph of her enthusiasm as a function of time, because I am sucker for a woman's curve. :) ] I'm fairly sure she was completely sober at the time.

Another woman described my swing dancing as "funny, creative, and patient". One night, 2 other woman after dancing with me independently said, "That was awesome."

I thought about listing all of my negative traits, but neither you nor I have that much time in our lives to read or write them all. Har-har.

I wouldn't call myself an intellectual, yet I seem to have enjoyed spending large amounts of time getting advanced degrees: Perhaps I'm a pseudo-intellectual. I got picked last in high school during gym class, but since then I've gone on a coast-to-coast bicycle ride, and I've become a fairly good swing dancer. Yet, I stink at basketball. I'm not a couch potato, but I'm not exactly a jock either: Perhaps I'm a combination couch potato/jock. Make a portmanteau out of that!

As someone who was bit by every insect from Virginia to Oregon during a 3 month bike ride, I believe that the outdoors are both fun and itch-producing.

I am sometimes a bit of a thrill seeker. Among other things, I've gone skydiving. Whee! Not the wussy kind where you are attached to somebody experienced who basically does everything for you, but the kind where you control the landing and the instructors tell you, "That's the worst landing I've ever seen. Are you sure you aren't injured?"

I drive a real nice car, by which I mean a rusty subcompact with tires that say, "Do not drive over 55 mph.".

I'm originally from the Midwest. Sometimes people look at me and think I epitomize what they imagined what somebody from Indiana would look like.

A bit about you:

It would be good if you and I have some kind of chemistry together, by which I mean that you are a female, a human, and that you are alive. (I draw the line at the dead. That's just weird, and I imagine, cold.) It helps if you laugh at my lame jokes.

Probably coffee. If you're up for it, swing dancing is a possibility.