I guess as time goes on i'll write some really exciting stuff in here....but until then i'll just add some random words - jelly, flip flops, blancmange, failing that and because i've been told that my description is too 'short' i'll add some more random words to describe 'me'...spontaneous, loopy, gorgeous, modest etc....

Apparently I'm supposed to put lots of interesting things in here about myself and my many exploits during a lifetime of under-achievement - well what can i say to hold your attention span? - perhaps it's just best you ask?

Needless to say i've been involved in top-secret Government 'operations' for several years now and am sworn to secrecy over my involvement in the notorious jelly baby incident of nineteen hundred and frozen to death. I could tell you details of said incident but i would have to set you in concrete and you would become a permanent part of the new runway at Heathrow.

I could put here that i like a quiet night in with a bottle of DVD and a good cooking sherry but i would probably go straight downstairs into the depths of hell for telling some melton mowbrays, be burnt and never be heard of again, which might not be such a bad thing come to think of it, i mean have you seen the price of gas lately? - at least it's warm.

I was going to post some obligatory pics of meself in sunglasses and barechested, striking a 'pose' reminiscent of something you would see in Spartacus but i broke 3 camera lenses in the process. Was going to get an obligatory 'Robbie' stylie tattoo also and some sort of Arabic or Chinese Tattoo jobby that looks 'cool' (apparently) but chickened out and borrowed a rub on one from the kids....is spongebob squarepants cool on a tat or what?

Are there any like minded people out there? - you know...fed up of this whole internet dating thingummy. Hey what happened to good old conversation? - you know.....stringing the odd word or two together and preferably not in 'txt spk' - can anyone use proper Queens Hinglish now-a-days loike der la or wot?

Ok - some 'serious' stuff?:

I guess I'm on here to make friends and see if anything develops from that - not saying that it will, but you can live in hope - if it does then great and if it doesn't then hopefully made a new friend!

I love music - everything from Rammstein to Melody Gardot and a bit of Fun Lovin' Criminals , The Doors, Velvet Underground, The Verve and too many more to mention in between.....

Films....again a bit of an eclectic mix - anything from Singin' in the rain (love watching that with my daughter - she's a big fan too, bless her....), Some Like It Hot (What a classic - Jack Lemmon, Tony Curtis and Marilyn Monroe - Genius!) to Leon, Amelie, 300, The Matrix (obligatory 'bloke' film) and some Tartan Asia Extreme stuff like Oldboy and Sympathy for Mr Vengeance.

I could go on but if you've got this far you deserve a medal and an honorary knighthood....so i won't bore you any further......

You must:

Have your own hair/teeth/brain cells etc
Be breathing or show signs of having done so at some point
Be able to 'understand' sarcasm

Collect registration plates from buses would be good and write them in my little book. Is anyone still there?.....failing that maybe a spot of white water rafting? - or maybe a coffee and a 'bun' would be a good start - as long as you don't look at me and say....'like you need another bun?'