Writing my own legend. Try it, you might like it. Want to write one together? Send me a message. Have you read The Alchemist? Are you certain about Heidgger's cat and do you want an authentic experience? Strip. Do you suffer from the unbearable lightness of being? Will you meet Richard Parker face to face? Would you take the little blue pill before our last dance? I laugh to forget.

Here's some other stuff the girls I like will get (Or are willing to try and get). Pie just isn't pie without cool wHip. Have you heard? The bird is the word. Boneriffic. Sometimes nuthin is a real cool hand. Some men you just can't reach. You sh1t on my house! My old man is a television repairman, he's got this ultimate set of tools. All I wanted was Pepsi and she wouldn't give it to me.

I like to read, I'm a fanatic about numbers, play cards and talk a little trash. Moved here for work about a year ago. I'm a Navy brat, I've been everywhere, went to school and worked in New York before heading back south in '99. I do travel for work, it will make you miss me. I learned a long time ago money isn't everything, but I realize the lack of it makes life a little bit difficult, so I'm financially stable.

If you don't have a sense of humor, turn back now...

If you don't like it spicy, I can live with it, but if you are not willing to eat anything other than chicken fingers, fish sticks, hamburgers and hot dogs, you are not the girl for me. Grow up a little bit, try something new, be open minded! I know this is South Cackalackey, but please eat something that isn't fried occasionally.

You have to be able to tell good stories and remember... "Its all in the delivery" I love a girl that can tell a joke. Physical jokes are even better.

I'm into antique motorcycles and cars. I am not obsessed with them. I just like them. It's not all about you, I get to do what I like, too. Go have some girl time like getting your nails done and leave me to my tinkering. Now if you want to hand me the wrenches and fetch me a beer, you are more than welcome to join me in the man cave. If you know what you are doing, its a total turn on, especially if you've got a hot set of coveralls over your lingerie.

I like a road trip to "wherever the road may take us." When its warm, I like to spend time on the water fishing, tubing, or just riding. I love my house, its a fortress of solitude and Serendipity. You won't find me spending the weekend in front of the idiot box watching nascar or football.

Tailgaters, if you actually read past that last sentence, here's the deal. I am willing to participate in your games. I will bring some tasty snacks and drink a couple of beer or even be the DD for your drunk friends (I reserve the right to take embarrassing photos). I will root for your team because I don't care, my performance will be believable. I am likely to be the only one that actually knows the score about mid way through the third quarter.

I recognize down time doesn't have to be a rainy day movie on the couch. Sometimes, I just want to spend quiet time with that someone special. A picnic on the living room floor can cure any case of the blues. Hands down, I make the best picnics!

I have a big, goofy dog. He's a cranky old man and my best friend.

I'm close with my family and appreciate that in others. Just to be clear. I do not have children of my own, I think kids are great, I just don't have any of my own.

I like girls that are smart, smart a55es, or have smart mouths. Dry, biting and sarcastic cracks me up! So does a really sick sense of humor. I also like sweet and silly. I won't kick you out for being shmoopy. Do you like good conversation about deep, meaningful or absolutely meaningless things? Can you take me to the gallery or museum and tell me what we are looking at or how it makes you feel? Do you draw, paint, take photographs or play music? Sing me a siren's song? Teach me to two step or waltz? Now listen up, I dance like Elaine, so we have to start slowly, I want to dance with you, but two left feet and shakes it like a white girl are understatements.

If we meet and you do not look like your pictures, we are not going to have a second date.

All right, you've gotten this far. To see if you really read this, I am going to throw in the stuff that most girls don't want to hear and most guys are just to chicken to say. I don't care if you have a degree, a great job or make any money whatsoever. Kids are okay, if you have 3 or more kids from 3 or more different baby daddies, get counseling and use protection. I'm interested in a person with which I connect on a different level. I admit that I must be attracted to you and that probably means you are younger than me, shorter than five six, can purchase clothes that fit you at a regular department store, artsy fartsy smartsy, and above the line on the hot versus crazy scale. But I am open to all types of people, I've been surprised before.

If you favorite me, send me a message, I won't bite (not hard enough to leave a mark anyway). If you favorite me, but don't talk to me, I will remove myself from your favorites, I think that is weird. Hey, if your message says, "I made you a favorite, so I can show my friends what an obnoxious jerk writes in his profile," I'll stay on your list, because my eyes read, "Dude, you kick A55!"

Let's go grocery shopping together, somewhere good like Fresh Market, Earth Fare or Trader Joes. What better way to find out about someone? You are what you eat. From healthy to sinful, we can see what the other person's likes and share about ourselves.

I like to eat out, but I am also a good cook and have a great view off the deck for a sundowner. I'm always up for sushi or Thai food. I've been on a Korean food kick lately, but I always go to the same place on Decker.