Hello. Welcome to my profile. Sit down. I’m ready to answer all your questions.

Q. Sounds good. OK, here goes. Are all the vital statistics in your profile correct?

A. There is a quibble. When I first signed up I was in a hurry and selected the wrong date for my birthday. By the time I got back and started taking it seriously, it was too late to change. I was born in 1954, I'm 55.

Q. Are you a fun guy?

A. Are you asking if I’m a mushroom?

Q. Not “fungi.” “Fun guy.” Two words.

A. Oh. I guess it depends on what you call fun. Sitting around a bar watching sports and screaming is not my idea of fun. I prefer more proactive pursuits. I’m involved in local theater acting and directing. I enjoy cooking (my kitchen is large enough for two to work). Movies, theater, concerts, seminars....I suppose I like learning and exploring. The world is a fascinating place and I want to know about it. Exploring the world with someone else makes it more fun.

Q. In a related topic: Do you have a sense of humor?

A. So this horse walks into a bar and the bartender says: “Hey why the long face?” Everyone thinks they have a great sense of humor. I don’t laugh much at humiliation such as reality TV. And I left jokes about bodily functions and excrement behind along with acne and tie-dyes. I like a bit of intelligence in my humor. Early influences were Bill Cosby, Bob Newhart, Tom Lehrer. Lately I am a devotee of “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report.” I enjoy the “Airplane” movies, but not adolescent comedies. I marvel at the whiplash speed of Robin Williams. The intellectual absurdism of “Monty Python” On radio I enjoy Garrison Keillor’s “Prairie Home Companion,” “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” and “The Golden Age of Radio.”

Q. What kind of jokes do you tell?

A. Wow, good question. I have a supply of anecdotes, but my humor is inspired by what’s going on around me. I’m an inveterate punster and love word play and double entendres -- triple ones, if I’m lucky. Probably something to do with my years as an editor and writer.

Q. Is the glass half-empty or half-full?

A. Depends. If I’m replenishing the contents, it’s half-full. If I’m removing the contents, then it’s half-empty. It all depends on which direction you want to go – and who’s buying. I guess it comes down to seeing things as they really are and not superimposing a sense of optimism or pessimism on it. Sometimes things are bad and have to faced. Best way to face adversity is to put it in perspective with humor. At that point it’s time to use all the smarts and creativity we have to make it better or stand up to it and endure. As Winston Churchill said: “When you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Q. Do you love unconditionally?

A. Hoooo-kay. Tough question time. No, I don’t, and really don’t think anyone does. Just look at the ads on this site. People ask for “tall” or some age range or traits like “honest” - - those are conditions, whether we like it or not. There’s nothing wrong with conditions, they are usually the cause of “chemistry.” But, a lot of people who talk about loving unconditionally just want someone to love them that way but don’t think about what it may mean to reciprocate.

Q. And soul mates?

A. Same deal. I think what we can find are kindred spirits or counterparts. People have been inculcated with images by Hollywood that show two people just meshing and sailing through life. Relationships take a lot of care and nurturing. Couples find a few things in common and assume they agree on everything. Worse, later they decide they can’t compromise on the unimportant things to keep the important ones alive. Antoine de Saint-Exupery said “Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction”

Q. So what are your conditions?

A. Intelligence is good. A shared appreciation of culture can be important. Someone who can sit with me in a theater or at home and watch a Shakespeare play. I have a love of theater and of writing. That makes me analyze stories in movies, books and plays to see if they work and why. But there are times when it’s time to check your brains at the door and enjoy the rollercoaster ride of a well-made popcorn movie. Looking back on the Saint-Exupery quote, similar or complementary goals are important. That does make it easier to be supportive and helpful to each other.

Q. You read a lot, don’t you?

A. Yeah and, boy, are my lips tired. My love of books started early and has never abated.

Q. So you just sit around reading?

A. “Sit mens sana in corpore sano” -- a healthy mind in a healthy body. I may not be able to do an Ironman triathlon but I have no trouble climbing stairs, hiking uphill, doing aerobic and weight classes.

Q. Are you faithful?

A. You mean religious? Not particularly. Once you get to the basics all religions are the same and all are built on the Golden Rule. Myths, as Joseph Campbell said, are teaching stories about maturing and becoming better people. Fairy tales do the same thing, if you read Bettelheim. Modern comic books are similar. Iconic characters teaching moral lessons. I’m not saying that God does not exist, just that our living good lives should not depend on the threat of eternal punishment. We should do right because it is just that -- right.

Q. Nice answer, but the question is more about sexual fidelity.

A. Oh. Well, cheating people are usually looking for some thrill because they are empty inside. Or manifesting latent insecurity by proving they are desirable. Some fall back on “variety is the spice of life.” But I think that two imaginative, free-thinking people can be their own orgy and a continuing font of spontaneous and diverse pleasures. Was that put delicately enough?

Q. Very nice. Have your answers been honest?

A. Ah! The old conundrum. If I tell you I’m honest am I really being honest or am I lying about being honest? And what am I honest about? As with any profile here, I’m trying to put myself in the best light, but the person taking time to read this deserves to know where I stand on things. So, I’ve given the best answers based on what I think, not what I think people want to hear.

Q. What if there are more questions?

A. Send them along. The good ones may get included in a later profile update.

Boy, first dates are tricky. Casual enough at the beginning to allow a graceful exit yet a launching pad for a longer evening.

Let's pick a spot to meet for coffee, not a diner but a real coffee house (used to be a great one in Red Bank). There will be a single rose on the table, a way to say "thank you" for taking the time to let us get to know one another better,

It should be someplace near the center of a town that features entertainment and restaurants. By the time we meet we should both have shared what we like to do so the options should be available. Like jazz, Oh look, there's a piano bar. You've been itching to see the new Woody Allen picture? What a coincidence! it's playing right around the corner. You enjoy walking along the beach. Hey! Isn't that the ocean?

The date should build organically, the talk should be straightforward and comfortably revealing. Laughter should punctuate the evening with commas of mirth, apostrophes of jokes not needed to be explained. But there should also be ellipses of time for thoughtful insights and revelations, and interrabangs of excited questions.

There should be no limits or reluctance about being asked anything, though each of us may reserve the right to hold off answering until later.

The idea of the date is to probe the layers of the other person and see where we mesh. Express our self-awareness and find out where we fit and where we don't.