The name is Danny...remember it...you'll be screamin' it later.

A pretty smile and a cute butt are the things I notice first about a woman (depending on which way she is walking of course).

I'm a busy guy. I don't have time to deal with clingy drama queens (I realize that excludes about 90% of ya...but so be it). If you require babysitting, go find someone else to coddle you. If you want someone to tell you all the things you want to hear, talk to someone else. He'll be thrilled to get your attention.

And for God's sakes, don't drone on and on about how your ex boyfriend/husband/lover treated ya like shit, beat ya, harassed ya, made your life a living hell...I DON'T CAAARRRRE. Got it? GOOD.

I expect you to be ready to go right out of the box...No assembly required and no works in progress. If you still have 20 pounds to lose, skip messaging me and go to the gym.

I chase bad guys for a living. When I'm not working, I enjoy playing guitar, mountain biking, working-out, hanging with friends and seeing what kind of trouble I can get myself into. I am a huge football fan (played QB in high school and college) and like catching a good game at Texas Stadium.

I also volunteer some of my free time to the Make A Wish Foundation. Make A Wish grants wishes to children with life-threatening medical conditions.

I like the girl next door type with a wild streak. Major bonus points if you look great in a g-string or have a secret piercing/tattoo...

I don't mind the occasional "blonde moment", since I am one...but draw the line if you tend to get dizzy in bookstores.

I'm a Scorpio...prudes and virgins need not apply.

My B.S. meter is finely tuned and I have a very low tolerance for it. If you're a flake...keep a movin' darlin. That's right...Flakes & Nuts...No, I'm not talkin' about a cereal. YOU know who you are. If you're either one...or BOTH...scram kid, ya bother me.

I’ll teach you things about your mind and body you never knew you could experience.

If you're one of the girls I see putting on mascara while chatting on your cell phone and driving 80 miles an hour on the freeway...let me know - you need a good spanking.

My first New Years resolution for 2010? Stop giving women so many DAMN GOOD orgasms! They follow ya around like little puppy dogs after that.

I've dated and been friends with a lot of beautiful women in my time, and I have found the ONE thing that ALWAYS holds true. The one KEY to the female mindset. The one ABSOLUTE, unshakable truth that no woman can deny or resist.

-D-

I do have a weak spot, truth-be-told: A girl with a phenomenal a*s. I'll jump through a few hoops for that, and I do think a perfect lil, pert derriere is the one asset that can permanently elevate the s*xual experience.

A nice dinner where you can talk and I can do Patron shots.