SOME RESTRICTIONS APPLY:
No blowup-doll types with the personality of a butt-plug (U KNOW WHO U R), No marriage for citizenship (I have three), and lastly, No whack-jobs like Amy Winehouse, Brittany or Whitney "Cute & CRAZY"...Physical beauty doesn't impress me, it amuses me momentarily, like car wrecks, and bingo-ball hoppers. Im not shallow, but nor am a drunken sailor mistakin' sea donkey's for mermaids.

Oh YEAH, and a GREAT sense of humor....

................if you don't have one...Drink some prune juice
and let sh*t go !




If this sounds anything like you...email me to see where it takes us
..................could be a bus transfer, you never know
..if you haven't laughed at any of this,

you may need an enema.
STAT! enjoy yourself

buuuut, if your giggling, or even have a slight snot-bubble...then read on,

Soooo, let's say we lighten things up a bit'
......and talk about abortion!!!....

Seriously folks, is this thing on? Y'all been great, tip ya waitress.

hopefully that comment didn't OOOO-fend people,

like a Drag-Queen costume at a clan rally.


All joking aside, If you believe in yourself, maybe I will believe in you too.


I am intelligent, athletic/fit, fun/funny, blah, blah, blah, I have nice shoes and I brush my teeth daily. If your naturally skeptical like me (since great people are rare to find)...just ask, I'm proud of who I am and not shy to answer any question...even if embarrassing


ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE(explanations available upon request)...and since the communication subtleties of physical presence are absent, you must rely on what is captured here.

Unfortunately, I don't have time to OPEN your eyes to archetypal bias, that skews what, TRULY fulfills us...So, if I haven't blown ya hair back, made your pants happy, tongue wiggle, or even raise a brow, thanks for coming out, hope you had a chuckle at my page and find what your looking for....

here's MY [desired] qualities:
(since I've worked hard on creating myself, hope U R similar)

? They like themselves.
? They know what they want and expect to get it.
? They are happy and positively upbeat.
? They are confident without being arrogant.
? They don’t need other people to make them happy, but people genuinely like them and actively seek their company.
? They are enjoying the adventure of their life not just watching it pass by.
? They are successful and fulfilled in what they do, whether it’s being a roadsweeper or a doctor.
? They are emotionally and spiritually mature.
? They have empowering belief systems that inspire optimism, excitement and determination.
? They have a strong sense of integrity and know what’s right for them.
? They are able to be open and vulnerable because they have a resilient inner core.
? They sail through stormy challenges to calmer, more fruitful seas.
? They can laugh at themselves and life.
? They do things for other people without constantly thinking,
‘What’s in it for me?’
? They are able to surf the roughest waves on life’s ocean.
? They see the potential in others.
? They speak positively of other people.
? They are loyal and caring.
? They want to see everyone win.
? They have well-developed social skills.
? They move and speak elegantly.
? They are exciting to be with.
? They are sexually mature and confident.
? They have an almost hypnotic ‘follow-me’ quality and make great leaders.
? They are highly flexible and can easily adapt to others without giving up
their own sense of self.
? They are in tune with their intuition.
? They seem to attract what they want without effort
? They experience ‘failure’ as a step on the path to success and a lesson.

and if ya made this far......I rarely initiate contact...time is my most valuable resource and I am busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest....so, if I peeked at your page, obviously something captured my attention...usually happy people like myself....why waste time with dirty diaper? (attitudes)
....happiness is a choice....I know how to make myself happy, do you?

UPDATE: moving to Australia in 2010, bye-bye USA.

Dress you up in seal suit and toss-ya in an orca tank....ya'know, something rememberable : )