Lets get right to the point: baggage. I think thats what we're all here for, isn't it? And not the single carry-on type baggage, I'm talking "pay the $50 surcharge cause its over 75lbs" baggage. What's life without excitement, really?

If you relate to any of the following, you may be the one:

You have kids but don't get to see them much, cause the bar is too strict with its "No one under 21" policy.

You have more convictions than teeth.

You have a knack for sharpening down toothbrushes into shanks.

You like Jack Daniels with your Frosted Flakes.

You suffer from every ailment that you read about on the Internet, except for hypochondria.

You were rejected from The Jerry Springer Show because your story was too dysfunctional.

Your profile says "Looking for a Christian man" and then you have 6 pictures of your cleavage.

For me, there is no greater joy than laughing with others. If you don't have a sense of humor or you take offense easily, then you probably don't have any friends either. Better get used to it.

(Does anyone actually mark 'YES' for the question of "Do you do drugs?"?)