Have you ever heard of an antisocial recluse who's looking to eventually buy a private island to escape humanity, but in the meantime is really sarcastically funny (in a smart-assed sort of way), good in social settings, fairly intelligent and generally a good guy??? Well . . . yeah that's me. They say you pay for what you get. Well since I didn't pay anything, then this should be interesting.

I would try to be fashionably late but since I am a bit of a stickler for punctuality I would most likely be on time. I would look pleasantly surprised no matter how different the person looked from her picture. I would engage in playful banter over a drink while analyzing my companions physical features ( we're not children here, they count for something) I would be open and honest and answer all questions truthfully no matter how invasive. I will keep all extraneous food off of my shirt, chin whiskers, and my companions lap, while we snack on appetizers. At this point an injection of suggestive or raunchy humor will be added to the conversation. This will detect how large a stick (if any) is up her ass. At this point I will know whether or not my date is worthy of date #2. Upon this conclusion I will . . . . . oh woops, sorry, I ran out of space. :-)