I like small boats...

So, it's OK if you're a little dinghy!!!

Oh no, bad nautical humor. LOL, LMAO, UG2BK, KUTGW, etc. Try to contain yourself. I was always told to open with a joke; even if it's a bad one. There's another zinger at the bottom (a favorite of my 7 year old BTW). Feel free to skip ahead.

I'm the father and parent of two great sons (4 & 7). My time with them is an enjoyable priority and responsibility, but I do have time for someone else special in my life.

Also, I'm an avid cyclist and active sailor. The cycling keeps me fit and sane. The sailing has been a life-long pursuit. Most of what I do now could be considered coastal cruising on the Great Lakes. It's turned out to be a great way to spend time with my boys. I keep a sailboat in Sandusky on Lake Erie, and both my sons have been on it since infancy.

You may have noticed my status is listed as Separated. I realize this may make me about as desirable as toxic waste (wait, that's not funny), but I wanted to be honest and up-front about my situation. My status could be better described as Divorce Pending (yeah right, I've heard that before). More can be learned in the FAQ below (FAQ! What's next, a privacy policy?) Hey, that's not a bad idea; maybe a NDA also.

Instead of the usual list of adjectives describing me (which could only be judged after meeting me), here's a random collection of unusual occurrences and factoids about me: I have flown to an island by helicopter, raced on a boat with the lead singer from Identity at Put-In-Bay, sailed to the Bahamas (and back) 6 times, swum with sharks and even chased a few, watched a meteor skim through the atmosphere above me while sailing, seen the Northern Lights on the Great Lakes while sailing, and met Walter Cronkite at a Hospice Cup in Annapolis.

The Official Monty_Burns FAQ's:

I've seen you on this site for a while / many months / a long time; just how long are you going to be separated?
Good question; the short answer is only a long as required by PA law. Anyone who has gone through a divorce in PA is probably aware of the 2 year separation scenario in a contested action. I've been separated for over 20 months; this timeline is not my choice. There's zero chance of reconciling, and at this point, my status is only due to a piece of paper. Any emotional or spiritual commitment has long since ceased. I'm moving on with life.

Do you need someone to cook / clean your house / do your laundry for you?
No thanks, I lived on my own for about 8 years before I was married, and I manage quite well now. I keep my house very clean and eat well.

Do you need help raising your sons?
No, I'm actually a very capable parent, and their mother is also. We have a shared custody arrangement that works well even though she lives 450 miles away. The reality of the situation is my sons are a big part of my life, and always will be. Any sort of long term relationship will involve them. Some of my friends have already asked me if I would ever marry again or consider more children. My answer has been "with the right person". Of course, I'll be more discerning about those decisions.

Is Monty your real name? Are you a pyromaniac? Why do you burn things?
Monty is not my real name. Monty Burns is my favorite character on The Simpsons. He's sort of the idol of my alter-ego. He runs his business how some colleagues and I wish we could. I'm not a pyromaniac, and I don't burn things except for massive amounts of calories.

For the more cerebral among us, a favorite movie quote of mine:
"This day, we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we can imagine."

Ketch yawl schooner or later.

A good first meeting would involve a reasonably quiet place to talk, maybe enjoy a snack and beverage, and figure out if we even like each other.