I'm looking for a nice, honest woman for a possible long term relationship. I wish that was an obvious statement, but too many people are looking for other things nowadays. This doesn't mean, however, that I'll be scrutinizing you to see if you're "the one." I understand how rare that is and I don't think it's something you can seek out through an interview in a pressure packed first date. It'll happen naturally, if it happens.

I just heard Liz Lemon say this on "30 Rock" and I agree with it a little too much probably:

"I just wish I could start a relationship about twelve years in, when you really don't have to try anymore, and you can just sit around together and goof on TV shows and then go to bed without anybody trying any funny business."

I'm currently writing four comics with four different artists who live in four different countries (Australia, Malaysia, Canada, America). I recently met one of them in person for the first time at the San Diego Comic-Con, which was really cool. My comics are mostly graphic novels based on my movie ideas, which I'm making to help sell the properties to Hollywood, with the main goal of writing/directing feature films.

FUN FACTS

I'm not a very good golfer, but I've made two holes-in-one.

Dodgers broadcaster Vin Scully has talked about me twice during games.

I cashed (placed high enough to make money) in the first World Series of Poker event I played.

The Variety article about my first movie deal came out on April Fool's Day and I successfully tricked tons of people into thinking I faked the whole thing.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (all real examples)

how's the fishin goin ?
Well, I'm still here, so not great.

why are you on this site?
Same reason you are. We were sent on a mission to Earth from Zortron to interbreed with the humans and create a super race of beings to take over the universe. Don't you remember me from the spaceship after we were given our new human bodies? I think they kind of messed up on yours. Anyway, waste of time to breed with ourselves, so stop e-mailing me.

wut type of music do u lik?
I don't lik any music, but I like most kinds. I don't understand people who say they hate all rap and/or country. I'm sure there are some obscure genres out there that have zero good songs, but not rap or country.

what do u look for in a gurl?
I like blue hair. Also, if you're over 77, don't write to me -- that's my cutoff.

why didn't you write back to me???!!!
Because you were so beautiful and amazing that I was too scared to say anything to you.