Ignore the headline, it's only a bit of fun, a play on words.

Relaxed, easy going, approachable, chatty fella looking for a likewise girl, to continue the journey of life, with fun and giggles a plenty, along the way. Are you the one?

Do you have the body of Delia Smith and the cooking talents of Jordan. Can you fix cars, and do the dirty work before decorating?. Can you put the toilet seat up when you finish? Will you get stroppy when I ask you to go out with me, and miss your favourite football teams game on TV?, Will you moan if I ask you to take me shopping?. If you can answer favourable to these few simple things, we have a great chance..

My dream girl would NOT like Strawberry and Orange creams in Quality street tins..

I am a short, fat , tall, thin bloke, bald with a centre parting, good posture, and walk with a limp, I also have my own teeth which stay in a glass beside me at night..... Joking aside, I am a chilled (not on drugs), relaxed, quick witted, tactile, affectionate, friendly fella, who holds down a good job, looking for someone to have fun times with. I have kids, who live with their mother, which isn't a disease (Not the mother, I mean having kids, isn't a disease), so dont go running away just yet, although I try to see them loads.

Take a peek , and if you like what ya see, then dont be shy and drop me a line. Everyone gets a reply.
Looking for normality in a girl. Not interested in girls on here who flaunt it all in their pics, or are pouting like a trout out of water. Would like my girl to keep herself for me, and not let any old letch on here oogle her.

If you are here looking for pics of a guy with a top off in ALL of his pics, holding a big fish that he caught, posing by his car, or trying to look like the milk tray man skiing or skydiving, sorry, I aint your man, I dont need to make a total tit of myself before I have met you. I'll do that when we are together!!!!.. You get to see that if we get on, and become an item. If you want a gangsta, rapper, neanderthal, meathead, player or Chav, then pass on by please.

I try to look after myself and know all about the t-zone, and I even Exfoliate, cleanse, tone, and moisturize, and been known to put on a face pack or two with my daughters, the peel off ones.. They have a weird obsession with peeling them off..

So if you are "READY" for a relationship, long term, dont have any freaky ex's still lingering, have a straight mind, are not too insecure that you wont let me go to the petrol station to fill up without coming with me, and wanna have plenty of giggles and fun along life's path, then feel free to message me..

Till then , take care,

Neil
x

I am equally at home in a posh restaurant, as I am in a grotty pub or fish and chip shop. I prefer your normal everday grub, pub food, nothing too fancy. So, a portion of Cod and chips, out of paper, with ooooooodles of salt (My bad habit) and Onion Vinegar, whilst sitting on the beach, will do for me..