i am single. i have a job.. i got no baby-momma drama! i've never been "convicted" of a felony... i am a legal U.S. citizen!! and i'm totally disease-free!!! [don't all click at once...]
...i am capable of being brutally honest and absolutely faithful. i am open to serious relationships, but serious about open relationships.
i'm complicatedly simple and not looking for someone who's simply complicated. if your 'who i'm looking for' section is more than one line,
i may not be the one for you...

my turn-offs include: people who say they are seeking a mature guy age 18-20; Pe0pL3 Wh0 TyPe LiK3 Di$S, describe themselves as "pretty laid-back", or use the word "pArTy" as a verb...

my turn-ons are: literacy, logic, languages, and leftism.. (INFJ) [citation needed]

intelligence is appreciated though not required.. chances are i will not find you mentally challenging, but you must not be mentally challenged either,... so if your profile looks like it should have been written in crayon,... or if you're flipping me off, or "throwin' up deuces" in 3 out of 5 of your pictures or more,- please "kick it" elsewhere.. (2 out of 5- ok)

it's a proven sociological fact that the more attractive a person is, the less they need to think or develop a likeable personality..
the opposite is also true. for evidence of this, one need look no further than your profile. i have accepted the evolutionary improbability of finding someone good enough for me (especially in california) and am now willing to settle, possibly for you.. act now!

"bigger girls", minorities, and 'women seeking citizenship' strongly encouraged to apply!
no experience necessary, training provided!
¡se habla español!
(instant pre-approval for cute, chunky, mexican girls!!!)
serious inquiries only though please!

past experience with online dating leads me to mention at this time that i'm NOT into old-asss white women, but thanks for stopping by!

oh and be advised: if you just want to play games, then you better bring your A-game and pack a lunch.. 'cause i've already squared off against the two "smartest" girls on POF as well as quite a few dumb ones. all were subsequently vanquished. ..but if after reading my entire profile, you feel that i'm the type of individual you'd like to match wits with, then by all means, step into the octagon.

real talk: i'm here for friends- dating- serious relationships- and ultimately marriage.. preferably in that order.. but if you're just here to waste my time, i'll block you senseless.. and yes my blocked list is way longer than my favorites list.

on a side note: i find it funny and ironic how women on this site are constantly demanding things from men (intelligence, sense of humor, personality, originality, good "grammer"...) which are noticeably absent from their own profiles...
furthermore, calm the f*** down if people aren't writing you the exact type of messages that you believe you're worthy of. keep in mind that a lot of really nice guys joined this site, and took the time to write meaningful, heartfelt messages to a lot of women who didn't even respond. now they're 'fishing with dynamite', sending out bulk emails of "hey whats up", and waiting for something to float to the surface. i'm sorry if it's not quirky, witty, original, or specifically tailored to meet the expectations of your paragraph-long run-on sentence of a profile which you obviously put so much original thought into, but let's be honest, you weren't going to write back either way.

ok, i've kept it real with you, now be honest with me... don't "say" that you are looking for an honest, mature, responsible, no-games blah blah, sense of humor blah blah blah, REAL Man; if in fact you're just looking for the same old sidewayz hat-wearing, no child support-paying, TapOut shirt-sporting, employment-challenged kind of kid that you usually get pregnant to.. if that's what you're into, that's awesome!...
just admit that you're a moron, click next, and let's not waste each other's time, m'kay? thank you- gUd LuCk iN Da cLuB..

well normally i don't so much "date" women as "rent" them, however... i would enjoy driving 8 hours to meet a complete stranger from the internet at a local food court, etc, etc... do you people even realize that about 95% of you say the exact same misspelled crap in your profiles, and the other 5% just sound F-ing crazy! and here's some extra reality check just for those in serious need of it:
ummm, hi, you're on a free internet dating site-- get over yourself! obviously you ain't all that, or you wouldn't be here with the rest of us losers in the first place; you'd already be taking a long walk on the beach after some good conversation in a quiet little coffee shop with your gorgeous and successful soulmate.
i mean, who did you really expect to meet on here anyways? your little wish-list is cute and everything, but if there really were such a guy like the one you're describing who you're not willing to settle for less than, do you really think he would be so desperate for a date that he would be chillin' here, just waiting to fall in love with you? it appears that Mr. Perfect is nowhere to be found on POF.. i know, weird huh?
so what's your second choice??
sorry if i've interrupted your fantasy world... go back to what you were doing..

break the cycle of wannabe-gangstahs, trendy posers, professional clubbers, sucka MC's, fratboys, playahs, perverts, creeps, flakes, and all-around douchebags... if you pass me up, and go on to date another one of these ass-tards, you have no one to blame but yourself.. every time i see someone's profile say how they want a real man who's honest, intelligent, and funny and then they don't write to me, i die a little.. i can only help you if you let me. yes, i'm not like everyone else, that's a good thing.. do something different, or stop complaining.

[UPDATE] i see that a lot of you are still having trouble talking about yourselves, your interests, your goals, etc.. so just copy and paste this template that everyone else is apparently using:

IM PRETY LAID BACK DEFINATLEY NOT UR AVERAGE GRIL I LIKE DRINING; DANCEING.. PARTyING: CLUBing i ;LOVE MA FAMLY THERE tHE BEST I HAVE (_ _) KIDS N THEIR MY WORLD!!! IM LOOKING 4 MA PARTNER N CRIME INTELEGENCE AND SENSE OF HUMOR IS AMUST!! i LOVE MUSIC ALL KINDS RAP.. R&b: HIP-HOP; EVRYTHING ECCEPT 4 HEAVY METAL.AND COUNTRY LOL I AM CURRENTLY ATENDING SCHOO;L TO GET MA DEGREE IN NURSING N CRIMiNAL JUSTICE IM HOPING TO BE FINNISH SOON.I AHVE A REALY SARCASTIC SENSE OF HUMOR I HOPE.U CAN HANDLE IT LOVE FOOTBALL N BASKETBALL (Go. DODGERS!!!!) UMM I DONT REALY KNO WHAT E;SE TO SAY OH I DONT LIKE LIERS CHEATERS FAKEs AND DRAMA aND IF UR JUS LOOKING FOR ONE NIGHTSTAND KEEP ON LOOKING I RESPCET MYSLEF WAY TO MUCH FOR THAT N E THING ELSE U WANNA KNO.JUST ASK!!!!!!!

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