Requirement: Sense of humor. Period. If you can't take a joke, then stop reading here. I'm really a nice girl...so don't let the following fool you:
Moooving right along...If you're lookin for a lady, keep looking. I couldn't tell u the difference between the dinner fork and the salad fork (& if you tell me, I'll forget), I eat with my elbows on the table, I cuss like its my job (with a colorful vocab that would've offended even Richard Pryor), and I'm convinced that crossing my legs will give me varicose veins. I have manners...I'm polite.....I have no etiquette. And absolutely no tolerance for racism, sexism, or any other hateful discriminations, so if you have any of these character flaws, GET TA STEPPIN!! I have never been and will never be the type of girl that wants to get Olan Mill pictures taken of us with our matching shirts on. I'm intuitive but not attentive. A host of perfect imperfections and seamless flaws. I can make light of almost any situation, so it's hard to keep me down. I'd rather do something and regret it later than to spend the rest of my life wondering what it would've been like. I like kids ....in very small doses. I realize that the world is in no shortage of them and I don't care to see what I'd look like as a little person, so I have no plans of popping any out (....you're welcome). As far as marriage goes, I could search all day for something I care less about. Growing up in the South (a Republican's playground full of Good Ol Boys terrified of anything untraditional) it's hard not to feel out of place if you aren't married with two youngins by the age of 25 and attending church 17 times a wk. Well my deadline has come and gone and I'm more comfortable being w/out child and spouse than I've ever been. Nothing about me screams "tradition" (whatever that is) and relationships are no exception. I'm trying to pursue a degree as a radiology tech. VERY open minded towards everything and have the southern hospitality down to a science.

I can drive a stick shift(*gasp*). I love tattoos.....LOVE em. I don't like wearing make-up, so what u see is what u get... Digg it. Once I'm out of the shower, I take all of 15 minutes to get ready. Haven't had my nails "done" since Prom, I wear white after labor day, and the only time I like shopping is if there's an awesome sale. Oh yeah...and I'm a vegetarian. (A southern girl that's vegetarian??? I know...unheard of).

I'd prefer somebody that is health conscious, but not a Buff Buffenstein. If you're a smoker, it's not a deal breaker, but it does hinder ur chances. And I don't mind if you've got children....(this may sound cruel), but I will lose all respect for you if you have tubby kids. There is no excuse for your 5 year old son to have bigger breasts than me. In the same breath....YOU shouldn't have bigger breasts than me (unless they're firm *smiles*....Actually, no..that might give me a complex). If your About Me section is one or two sentences and includes the uninspiring words "whatever you want to know, just ask", chances are you're boring and can't carry a conversation. Your profile is supposed to be designed to "sell you" in a sense. I once read in a guy's profile that he was looking for "an inteligent woman". At least 40% of you won't catch the irony in that....and another 20% will correct me on it. Don't say you're a funny guy but have a profile drier than an 80 yr old man's knuckles. Looks will NEVER make up for a lack of personality (or brains)...and neither will a large bank account or a fancy car. This little girl can't be won over by diamonds, no matter how big. And if you're convinced that Bush did a damn good job in office, then hop back in ur monster truck or John Deere tractor and exit my page please.....(yeehaw).
IF YOU SEND ME A MESSAGE...PLEASE DO A SPELL CHECK FIRST. I don't claim to be a genius, but I never took a course in how to decode poor grammar and run-on sentences. And keep the cream-puff nicknames like Baby, Cutie, Sweetie, Sexy, etc to yourself....if I don't know you, it won't flatter me, it'll just creep me out.

In proofreading this, I think I come off quite abrasive, but I promise that I'm a lot nicer and more considerate than I sound. i.e.... I cry every time I watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition and The Notebook. And I'm terrified of the things that most ppl are terrified of. (heights, needles, clowns, public speaking, crowded elevators, ...and a not so typical ...DARK WATER....oh yeah, and little kids with snot bubbles... *shudders*). All humor aside, I am one of the most passionate ppl you will ever meet. I have the enthusiasm of a child (sadly the attention span of one as well) and am able to empathize with you even if I've never been through anything remotely similar. I say many things in jest and more often than not, am the butt of my own jokes.
Yayy Obama!!!
~ Love like it's the antidote. (awesome quote)

Here are some examples of how not to message me: (and these are taken straight from my inbox and were ALL opening messages)
1. I'd let u mug me.
2. You have a beautiful vagina. (note: there are no pics of my vagina. Don't look for them)
3. You are attractive and I haven't had sex in forever.
4. Do you fck on the first date? Yummmy. Mmmmmmmm!!!
5. Ever consider modelling? (yes....he spelled it that way)
6. I would ruin you.
7. Would it be inappropriate to ask if you enjoy nine-inch long****? (to anyone that may be wondering the same....yes...it is inappropriate).
8. Your profile makes me wanna cook ramen noodles. (that isn't creepy...just strange)
9. I wish I could get on my knees and lick and kiss your inner thighs.
10. Holy spankable cuteness, You are hot!!!
11. Give me an hour with your boobies.
12. I would loooove to cum up from behind you and slip myself into u and feel ur asscheeks against my abdomen as I press into you from behind. Mmmm. Yumm.
13. Your friend is hot. What's her number?
14. The zionists aren't even bacon! (if anybody can tell me what the hell that means...)
15. Wanna rate my c0ck?
16. you masterbating...mmmm....love to see that. (spelled that way)
17. I am seeking a babydoll, slave girl, sub, for play, short term or long term. I do like to play the master or daddy role, but not set on any one thing as ive learned every girl prefers something different. I have a very creative sexual mind. Im into BDSM, JAPANESE ROPE BONDAGE, FCKING MACHINES AND teaching a lady to SQUIRT. I love to teach someone new things. I can be as nasty as u desire, rough and hard on you as u desire. I can be romantic also. I can make u my lil babydoll and spoil u take u shopping and show u off. Or make u my dirty nasty lil cum loving slut. I can keep your bratty lil ass in line and punish u or reward you.

(So, if you ever wonder why women are b!tches sometimes....)

I'm all about spontaneity. Mugging old ladies, tripping midgets, thumping babies. (the verbs are interchangeable...Ex: Mugging midgets, tripping babies, thumping old ladies)The traditional movies/dinner is nice, but hitting up a museum, festival, park, art show, going hiking, etc etc will keep me interested. Take me skydiving. I'm terrified of heights, so you'll get to see the unedited side of me. (update: I went skydiving for my birthday and had a BLAST!!!) Hunting/ fishing is out of the question....again...I'm a vegetarian. The only meat that I eat is fish, but I still have no desire to hook one. Speaking of which, I LOVE SUSHI... Love it.