Internet Dating is Crazy! But its cool too. Although you always have to meet someone with an air of suspicion, where else can you meet people that have the same interests, same goals, and those similar qualities that make a good friendship that is so outside of your normal circle of friends or worse, co-workers.\

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Ok, I just have to start listing the female picture poses that are a bit crazy (yea, yea, me on the Vespa probably irks you too)

1.) Picture taken in the Bathroom mirror with camera phone showing
This one says 'I was in a hurry and wanted to get a pic up'
When its on there for 3 months it says 'I am lazy, will not put in any effort'
BTW, try holding the phone to the side of your face, or better yet, out of frame

2.) Camera Phone shot while driving a Car
Similar to #1, but its a bit weird, why is that where you take your pic?

3.) Camera Phone in the bathroom mirror of your butt.
20% it works for, the rest, um, not so much.

4.) Picture talking on the phone...
This is why I started the list tonight... Total phone sex ad to me... Funny

5.) Picture of with children
80% are tasteful, and if you are like me, nothing is as important as the kiddos
20% I feel icky like you are using your kids for the ad (why I didnt do it)

6.) Picture lying on the bed in various poses
This is what you want to convey, no prob as some dudes dig it
However, 50% of those that do this try to come off as innocent in the txt. Odd

7.) Picture from the turn of the century
Um, I am sure the guys are just as guilty. Really, a scan of a polaroid?

8.) Picture way off in the distance by that Christmas tree way over there
If its with other pictures and its all you got, then cool
If its because you are that dot in the distance because you are Base Jumping, then really cool!
Some of you are just not confident enough or have something to hide?

9.) Expressionless Picture
Nothing says I am ready for a relationship like the 'dazed' look

10.) Photoshop
Yea, its easy to tell. Just because you skinny it up by changing the horizontal doesn't mean we cant see the golden arches behind ya...

11.) Group Pic
My friends are great, and I am sure most women have great friends to, but...
There are hundreds of posts where there is a picture of two women, and you cant
Tell which one is placing the ad. The old Bait and Switch?
Bonus points to the smarter ones who say 'I am on the Left', but
is that your left in the pic, or mine as I view it? Arg...

12.) Picture posted at 90° (Sideways)
Um, my 4 year old daughter could do better. Funny thing is seriously there
is one person posted like that whos profession is 'Computers'.... Riiiiiiight

13.) Pictures of you with a Dead Camel
Actually, this is a plus in my opinion. Talk about something interesting!

14.) Super Zoom
Really really zoom in on the face there, so the second chin or Tracheotomy hole cannot be seen.

15.) Microfilm
What kind of system are you using to make such a frickin small picture? Is it one of those $9 cameras from Target in the toy aisle for little kids to make their own stickers? I am lost, not even camera phones are that tiny.

16.) Slutty Halloween Pics
Not really too big of a deal in itself, after all, we are all grown ups (well, by age anyway, some of you not so much mentally). Know that I do show my friends, and we laugh at your expense.

17.) Hair Styles
Unwashed and greasy is not a 'Style'

18.) Poorly Blocked out Boyfriend / Ex Husband / Prior POF Serial Killer Date
How do we get past this? Many of my best pictures are with a prior Someone Special, is this a plus or a minus for you to see it? I guess this could be the root cause of many a 'in the mirror with cell phone showing' pics.

19.) Super low cut Blouse / Dress where we can almost see your saldd!u
Um darling, maybe you should shift your concentration over to Craigslist...

20.) Glamor Shots
I am not sure they are in business anymore, see #7
If I see one more pic of that white hat, Stars and Stripes Jacket with big hair, hoop earrings, the head tilted with thumb gently on the chin...


Addendum... I have had some requests to post some of the offenders, sorry, but that would not be very cool. I did not write this list to be as cynical as it sounds, nor to hurt anyone. Believe me, my profile used to be very informative about me, but after so many emails that ask something that is written right there or other twists on that variation, I decided just to have fun with it...

If you take it personally, it isn't me pitching it, its you catching it.

And yes, I will do what you asked (you know who you are). I will do a pic of each these of me to give the full effect. Might take some time though, while I do have a Polaroid camera, I don't think you can buy film anymore can you?

Talk. Good atmosphere, something interesting to see, to eat, to meet, but lets Talk a lot, but laugh more. Not just the words, but we can read each other so easily, the way we carry ourselves, how our mental clock works are. We find each other interesting or we don't, sure going to a loud club to dance is fun, but I could do that by myself just as easily. Who the hell are you? That is an answer that should take a lifetime, but at least the first chapter could be outlined in an hour...