I'm a selfish prick with absolutely no sense of humor. A hot, rich, pampered intellectual with an average to above average **** and a 9" tongue with the ability to breath through my ears. I'm young enough to do it often and old enough to do it just right. I don't have time for petty drama or emotional hysterics. I do what I want, when I want.

I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings. In other words, an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to ultimately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or the other party, or both if we're lucky!

I'd take you out to a fancy, overpriced restauraunt where I would pretend I forgot my wallet and make you pay for dinner. I'd then use my charm to make you forget about how awkward the conversation was at dinner and we'd have hot, passionate sex until the next morning, where I'd leave before you woke up and then never return your phone calls. I'd repeat this pattern over and over again, abusing plentyoffish for free meals and sex with women who, while very attractive, are undoubtedly very shallow and have a poor self image. I'll do this until I get so many complaints, they are forced to cancel my account.

My inbox is filling up fast, so you'd better send me a message while you have the chance. Especially since if you are still reading this, you probably have a good sense of humor.