The Top Twenty Reasons Why YOU Should Date Arcxjo:

20. Most guys would only come up with a Top TEN list. Arcxjo always gives 200%.
19. He's smart enough to understand the infield fly rule.
18. He can drive a standard transmission.
17. He is at least as real as Nessie, and almost as awesome.
16. He didn't marry your sister to make everyone forget your birthday.
15. The first hundred get free T-shirts.
14. He knows the difference between Austria and Australia.
13. He always washes his hands after using the restroom.
12. He has never gotten involved in a land war in Asia.
11. He actually likes to cuddle — you wouldn't even have to have sex with him! Unless, of course, you wanted to, in which case you and he could probably work something out, if you asked him nicely.
10. He has never put Baby in a corner.
9. He can use words like Zeitgeist, Wunderkind, Schadenfreude, Weltschmerz, Doppelgänger, and, of course, Gunter glieben glauchen globen in a sentence so convincingly you'd swear he actually speaks German. (In reality, he doesn't, but can act every bit as pretentious as people who do.)
8. He will never again wish to live in a world without springs.
7. He owns several tuxedos, so last-minute formal affairs every night of the week are never a problem. You could take him to the opera or Dairy Queen. Or just elope tonight, even.
6. He isn't good-looking enough to run off with another woman. (He IS good-looking enough to run off with another man, but gives you his word that he won't, unless Kevin Spacey asks him nicely, and what are the odds of that?) You'll be able to sleep soundly knowing that you will never have to stand next to him at a podium on national television as he "apologizes" to you and the American people for the affair(s) he had with a nineteen year-old sorority girl, high-priced hooker, Belgian dwarf, and/or llama.
5. He's more or less perfectly bilaterally symmetrical.
4. While he does have a preexisting relationship with Jesus Christ, it's purely platonic, so you shouldn't have to worry about any emotional baggage there.
3. He has a virtually nonexistant resistance level to nagging. He'll do just about anything you ask if it'll shut you up!
2. He can go anywhere. He can do anything. He can even fly twice as high as a butterfly in the sky. But you don't have to take HIS word for it.

And now, the Number-One Reason Why YOU Should Go on a Date with Arcxjo:

1. C'mon, what's the worst that can happen? You get free dinner (and maybe a show of some kind, or laser tag?, or something similarly awesome) in exchange for enduring his company for three short hours? That can't really be that bad, can it?

I'd love to go skiing with a woman, because it's really the only sport that I'm actually good at (thus giving me a chance to show off a little -- and as an added bonus, I'd find it totally sexy if you're in good enough shape to keep up with me). Also, the ten minutes or so of riding up to the top of the hill during which we can get to know each other versus the three or four following minutes of excitement going down the hill is just a good ratio for having a fun evening. And of course, we can cuddle up in front of the fireplace afterwards with some hot chocolate.