I didn't want to do this, but my friend put a profile on here without me knowing it and i didn't like that because i felt it was lying and presenting me as a player. So out of the love she has for me (by doing that and ment no harm) I agreed to give this a try.Life is like one big game of chance. If you don't take one from time to time you may never know what would have been. So here goes: I am 48 yrs old, and proud to say so. I know who i am and and and content with myself. I do not drink, nor smoke (am and x-smoker 5 yrs and counting) and do not do drugs. However before you start to judge me, you need to know that i am high on life. I have learned to be just as silly as you (when you have had a few drinks) and go with the flow of things. I like to have fun, I don't do the baby sitting gig anymore when it comes to dates or men who drink too much.If Alochol controls your life, or you have a problem with it, find someone like you. I don't mind a few but if i have to be your care taker or you get all stumbling down drunk or pick fights well you should stop reading this now. Been there done that, and am not going back again. I love to laugh. I think laughing makes alot of the worlds hurt go away. I am a true romantic at heart.Always expect the unexpected with me. Little sticky notes, a card, a compliment, things like that.I believe in fate, and the happilly ever after, and I am going to have that someday. I just don't know when or with who it will be, but know in my soul i will have it. That brings me to Angels. I am very spiritual. I believe we all have angels watching over us and am very open minded to things around me. I believe that things happen for a reason. May it be a bad reason or good, there is always a reason. and when you sit down sometime down the road and think about it, you figure out what that reson was and have grown and learned something from that.
I am like i said 47, 5'4 1/2" tall, i weight between 110 and 115 lbs and have dark brown hair and brown eyes. I do not have any children. Not because i didn't want to, but because it just didn't turn out that way. BUT i do have one requirement for a man. That is: HE MUST HAVE A CHILD:(ok,can't really say he must, cuz you never know when the LOVE thing may bite, you or with who, but i would prefer him to have kids). You see i missed out on having a child, so i do not want to miss out on being a grandmother, so if would fall in love with a man who doesn't have a child i would never be a grandmother, but if i fall in love with a man who has children i will be a grandmother and not miss out on that. You don't have to give birth to a child to love one as your own. Its all in your heart. Do I sound crazy? Maybe to some of you, but i love kids, bought my first car with babysitting money and god didn't bless me with one, so i feel in my heart and in my soul he will bless me with one through the man in my life. It's not crazy to me, its loving. I have no hang ups on someone being divorced. I look at it from a total different side. I actually thank the women, if she wouldn't have let you go, then i wouldn't have the chance (there is that word, chance) to be with you. I also thank her for allowing me to be a part of her childrens life, and for making that child with you, that i will be able to share in life with. I would much rather be friends with and x then enemies. Getting along makes everyone, expecially the kids feel loved and relaxed. Ok, now you really are probally thinking i am nuts. But i am not. I have just learned through lifes lessons these things i have just said. I thank one x-wife for teaching me the other side, for showing me how it feels from the mothers point of view. And believe it or not, today we are just the best of friends and have been for 22 years. She is the one that opened her world up to me and made me aware of the other point of view. She told me how hard it was to allow another women to mother her child when she wasn't around. I cherish that advise and use it today in my life. More divorced people should learn that, and or new partners instead of feeling jelious and insecure. The world would be a much happier place if we all did that. OK, now on to more about me. I have 3 dogs (loving dogs is a must for me) they are my children in life. I had a white lab named baby for 15 years (had to put her down 5 yrs ago) and she took part of my soul with her when she died. But i thank god for allowing me to learn how to love unconditional and be loved the same way back. That is what i want my human life to be like, and nothing is going to stop me from achieving it. You really haven't been loved until you have been loved by an animal. Its just so heartwarming. I love anything to do with Elvis.One of my best friends manages one, and i did for over a year. (that had too much drama in it) and have a huge Elvis family of friends. My REAL family is my core. I love them. They come first before any other thing in my life. When i love, i love 100%. I stand up for the ones I love and i expect the same in return. I respect the ones in my life and expect respect back. I believe you get what you give and you give what you get.I do not care what kind of car you drive, how big your house is, or how much money you make a year. That my friend DOES NOT MAKE YOU THE MAN. What you are inside as a human breathing man does.Your Mind Body Heart and soul is what a real man is made of, oh! and its ok to cry if you feel like it. Thats not being femine its showing you able to connect with your true feelings. And that is what i care about most. Who you are inside. Yes, being attracted physically is the first step, and then you as a man, a real person is the next step. Not looking for anyone to take care of me. I can do that myself. So i could care less what you do for a living, what you drive or how much money you make. All that will not make my heart happy, only you will.YOU CAN PAY FOR SCHOOL BUT YOU CAN'T BUY CLASS....So if because i don't have a college degree bothers you, just keep moving on! I do have class and you can it in my pic's i posted. But its your judgement call!
To actually have a relationship you have to communicate. Its the number one rule for me. Communicate first and good things will follow. Life is a learning game, and you can't learn if you don't talk. I really all in all just want a friend first, i want to know that when all is said and done, and when all the kids are grown up and out of the house that when it comes down to just the two of us, we can sit on the front porch swing holding hands and still loving and wanting each other the same way we did as when we first met.( I know that only happens in the movies), but that my dear gentlemen is what i want. And i WILL have that and nothing less.I do not like judgemental people.We all make mistakes, we all mess up, but its how you pick your self up, brush yourself off and go on.Live life by each moment given! May not have tomorrow!
First Date
Below is the steps i would take to get to know you better. I am open for just dating or a long term relationship. It takes two, so it won't be just me deciding what happens after we meet and continue to see each other. But will add I am not a player and won't allow myself to get used. Been there done that and way past that stag in my life.
1st Level: this means that we haven't talked on the phone but are msging back and forth, and i don't think i know you very well, so i would like to start Instant msging on yahoo!
2nd: this means that if i feel comfortable with you by im'ing you we could start talking on the phone to learn about each other.
3rd Level: this means that i feel a strong connection with you through person to person talking and i would like to meet you like say for coffee and some conversations.
4th Level: I feel safe enough with that i would to go out to a romantic or some what romantic dinner. but you need to know that I DO NOT HAVE SEX ON THE FIRST, SECOND OR THIRD DATES.....I respect myself and when i give that to someone, I care about them deeply. It isn't a game for me. I only share that part of my life with one man, and expect the same in return.
It's all really about communication. That tells me how to feel, and i always go with what my gut tells me. If am not so sure then it will be on level 1 or 2. If i feel safe enough then we advance to the other levels. Its all about safety. You know as well as i do there are alot of wierdo's out there, hell, for all you know i could be one. So lets just say, its about the time we spend making each other feel safe and worth the next step. I am game and up for the chance are you? and thank you to my best friend for wanting me to be loved and believing in the woman that i am! But must add after a brief experience on this site: I AM FOR REAL! I DO NOT PLAY HEAD GAMES, NOR DO I WANT ANYONE WHO IS GOING TO CONTACT ME TO TRY AND PLAY ME. KARMA! ITS A GREAT THING, BUT IF U DON'T PLAY FAIR IT WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU!
Mail Settings (To message pretendimholdingyou you MUST meet the following criteria.)
Male
Age between 35 and 53
Must not be looking for Other Relationship
Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter
Must not be looking for Activity Partner
Must not do drugs
Must not be married
pretendimholdingyou has 2 roses that can be sent.
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 in June 2009 at the Fair'))
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