I guess I'm pretty much a hypocrite. It used to really bug me when a woman's profile on a dating site said something like "not interested in actors." A few years later, and no longer falling into that category myself, I've joined that same church. And I don't feel guilty about it either. It's kind of like how Jews can make jokes about Jews, but it's inappropriate if someone else does. I'm allowed, I'm the Jew in this situation (Well I'm not actually, but I was an actor). Ok, well if typing the word Jew 5 times didn't get this profile removed, and you're still here, and you do NOT make claim to be actress, writer or producer (real or imagined)... I think I'm funny and I think I'm smart. I've been referred to as handsome, though have also been told I look like Mr. Bean and Brian Boitano. I'm usually quite fit, though currently I think I'm kind of a load. I've been in LA long enough to know there are like 7 different Avenues named Orange-something, yet I'm still unmistakably New Yorker/Jerzoid. I like baseball though didn't like it this season. I still love The Simpsons, South Park and other very funny things. I don't suffer fools well, but I'm a little better at it than I used to be. As for people I do like, I'd probably wade through a medical waste pile to help a friend – but only one really in need, if they like just wanted someone to come over and help flip their mattress or something, I'd probably just drive over when it was convenient for me. Geographically, LA's not really my style, but I've been here for a while (that rhymed) and now that I'm changing careers (please ignore that red-flag) I am open now open to relocation.

Who I'm interested in: I'm not really the Supercalafragilistic type and am a bit uncomfortable with those who "always have a smile on their face." The Joker always has a smile on his face and he's not someone I'd date even if I did live on Brokeback Mountain. I consider myself a realist, acknowledging that life has ups & downs, it doesn't suck big time and isn't always Fun-time-cereal with 8 essential vitamins and iron either. I prefer the company of someone with a balanced perspective. So be realistic about life, appreciate the good things and graciously share your joy with those who most value you in their lives, and also feel comfortable turning to the ones you trust the most when life isn't so great. My ideal woman would hopefully put me at the top of both of those lists. If you're still here...I really like funny, smart and real women; looks come second to personality but they do count. Now, I'm not so crazy about women who storm on ot the elevator before they let people get off, I also don't usually go for women who play the guitar for some reason, I think it looks weird...yeah, I know. Anyway, I do appreciate a woman who stays fit and takes care of herself, that said I appreciate the rational approach to this. I'm more attracted to the woman who has confidence to be a normal human self, while still staying fit, and doesn't spend 40 hours a week in the gym I don't care for people who reference celebrities' opinions on anything (besides maybe TV shows and movies). Sourcing your political opinions from Comedy Central and HBO is not good. Despite how brilliant B-list comedians are I'd rather hear what the Maytag Repairman my Dentist, 2nd Grade Teachers and Trampoline Store Owner has to say. -- Actually I don't have a trampoline store owner. I don't think I've ever even met a trampoline store owner, though now that I think of it something tells me they're not as much fun as you'd think they would be.

Anyway, quoting cheesy 70's TV shows and commercials, being a dork, and being able to think for yourself is the all time best. Also, don't think that tall guys are better than average height guys. Oh, and if your profile name includes your hair color or if you used the term "zest" anywhere in your profile, I'm probably not for you.

Oh, one more thing:
Divorced, no problem.
Separated, no go. (No offense, but trust me, you're the only one who thinks you're ready for this)

Sorry, one more. Also, I may not live by the Golden Rule – because frankly, not everyone necessarily deserves to be done on to as I'd have them do on to me, but I give what I get. Be nice and I reciprocate and then some. I call that the Copper Rule.



PS: Oprah's the Anti-Christ.

Hang out in the parking lot at Ralph's drinking orange soda, if she's one of them "classy chicks", the parking lot at Whole Foods

ps: I've been told I'm pretty damn cute in that 3rd grade class photo in my Cub Scout uniform (and pull it out often when I need the ego boost), but in general I think it's worth considering that if you're like six (or more) years older now and well....maybe more than a few lbs heavier (or lighter)... than that person in your profile photo, you may want to consider having a friend take a few new pics. Just a suggestion.