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Marital Status Not Single/Not Looking Profession Traveling potions and elixer salesman
Do you want children? Undecided/Open
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Interests
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About Me
---WARNING---
There's something that's been bothering me. Why is it that every woman on here who lists their profession as a teacher or an educator...can't spell for sh!t? Our future is in their hands, and they can't even spell...
Also, if you're a Dallas Cowboys fan, please just move on. I blame you for the overall social retardation of this country. America's team my ASS.
IF...you are a resident or a native from behind the Orange Curtain, and you call it the "OC"...please, just keep on going. You are obviously waaaay too cool for me.
I am the last man standing without a tattoo on his person.
Anyone else notice that there's a huge number of Libras on this site? What does that say about us, I wonder...
This may be where I'm the most honest, or where the lies flow like wine.
First things first, I'm not fishing for love, relationships, or random hook-ups. Plain and simple, I like talking to people, and if a meeting occurs, then let it be so. That said, I'm not going to make any claims that I'm better than any other guy because when it comes down to it, I'm still a guy. For those of you that wonder if chivalry is dead, it's true. But there are a few hold-outs out here.
I'm a real mellow guy who wants nothing more than peace and stability. I'm into Christian values that where taught by the Mr. Jesus, but not AT ALL into Christianity. I see a sad, huge discrepancy between the two. I LOVE movies, all books, and most all types of music (I tend to be a bit of a music snob), but jazz is my number one girl. I usually stay away from sports, except the New Orleans Saints, from which I can't be kept away. For my conservative friends out there, I am f***ing thrilled to no end for the new president, and if you don't like it, get over it...because we won. Also, if you voted "Yes on Prop 8", don't bother talking to me. I hope that you get what you deserve for taking away equality for human beings. A**hole.
Even though I think her time is done, it is so awesome that Sarah Palin keeps saying sh*t! Seriously, in some weird way, her stupidity...completes me. I think I love her.
Oh, and I like the word fiduciary. Huh.
Ladies, a quick observation and consequent word of advice...Don't post pictures of you and your little kids. This is the internet, chock full o crazies, and you don't know who's looking at those pictures. If you have kids, just mark "yes", but leave them out of this. Sorry, to me, that's just a bad parental decision.
Equal opportunity lover and hater
There's a lot of Bonnies looking for Clydes. You gotta remember, ladies, that Clyde was gay.
I once had a girlfriend who was a sloppy drunk and looked like George Lopez. Don't be anything like that girl.
I have what people call an irrational fear of the ocean, but without fail, whenever I enter the water, a shark shows up. Don't ask me why. I don't go swimming wearing a sunblock made of fish guts and blood, so I don't know what it is.
I feel bad when I look at somebody's profile that has multiple girls on it, thinking, "wow...she seems kinda cute," just to click on it and find that it's the profile of the lesser attractive girl. Call me shallow, but just make it clear and upfront, ladies, that you are the beast in the profile pictures with a uni-brow and the missing teeth, and that you are not your more attractive friend. Obviously, I am no Adonis and won't put up a front that I am more than what I am. Nor will I dupe anybody.
Just trying to get everyone to play fair.
I was the Super Primo Deluxe Cuddlemaster Supreme of Orleans Parish for two years running. People know me.
And if there's two things I can't stand in this world, it's people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures...and the Dutch.
Christ...I am such a nerd.
Great actual quotes of things said to Soulchicken by women:
1) I don't want your Goddamn ghosts!
2) You're not good enough to smell my diarrhea.
3) F**k you look old.
4) You eat like a drunk ass David Hasselhoff.
5) Maybe you should start sharing your lunches...
6) I've seen smaller.
7) You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me.
I'll put more up as we go along. My shortcomings are too hilarious to not share.
Anyone else notice that the people who say they HATE drama are always in the middle of it?
Stupids.
First Date
Staring contests, sitting around making fun of people from a safe distance, driving for extended periods of time to destinations unknown, bourbon talks, running guns or drugs across international borders, drawing dirty pictures in the sand, plotting revolutions...those are all acceptable first meeting activities. Just don't ask me to come over and meet your parents. That's just f***ing weird.
My-space is dead to me now. If you want further crazy talk, I'll be at facebook/kentuckynitemare.
Soulchicken has 2 roses that can be sent.
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