My glamor shot, boob shot, 12 foot long fish shot, 700 pound 82 point buck shot, do rag & muscle shirt shot, 18 thousand dollars worth of chrome Harley shot, convertible of your choice and large boat shot are all at the photographer's being air brushed so WYSIWIG.

"Things will get better-despite our efforts to improve them."
Will Rogers
I'm wondering if that still works with the present administration and congress?

How come "My City" isn't?

I'm 61 years old and on a dating site. If you expect seriousness from me, it ain't gonna happen. Then again - I suppose I could spend 6 bucks and get a yellow badge. Then again, I just saw a lady with a yellow serious badge that is on 76 favorites lists. Hard to believe something is wrong with all 76 of them. I guess maybe they could all be members of her sewing circle though.

If you know what a "Viewmaster" is - we might have something in common.

If it won't hunt - it's not a dog.

If I listed a favorite - most likely it's because it tells your last log in date. Not much sense writing someone who hasn't signed on in 6 months.

What in the world is "Christian - Other"?
I mean isn't that an is you is or is you ain't type of question?

I have to admit - I am for sure getting my money's worth out of this site. But, I think I'm going to call it "Plenty of cold fish".

I shamelessly ripped the following off someone eles's profile:

"Plant your own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." Now - if I can figure out just what that means - I'm off to do it.

I managed to find these on my own - doesn't mean I'm a literary genius - just means Mark Twain had a succinct way with words.

"Grief can take care if itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
Mark Twain

"After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her....I should be sorry to have that voice fall silent and pass out of my life."
- "Adam's Diary" (Mark Twain)

Christmas came early - I just found out that my Stevie Ray CD was a two CD set - now if I can just figure out how you get at the second one without a chain saw - I'll be a happy camper.

How come one can drink "socially" - but one can't smoke "socially"?

I think my matches got wet - I've yet to see a fire started.

How come my "matches" aren't?

Surely a woman exists within reasonable distance that can put up with old cars, gunfire, horse shows, (I'm pretty much limited to spectatorism, but if you've got an extra steed I can probably handle a meandering ride not involving barrels, poles or roping), a periodic downriver canoe float. Ability to use the F word occasionally with authority is a plus and a fair amount of independence is a must. I don't need a fashion model or a Barby doll, but you shouldn't scare little kids either.

Is "New User" a good connotation or a bad one?

How come "Flounder" is not listed as a fish personality?

If "Opposites Attract" - why do all sites insist on "Matching" us up?

The black and white photo is recent - about 10 days ago. The colored ones are older - taken about 30 years ago.

My friends tell me I'm dull, boring, don't play well with others and that I look older than 75.

Geez Louise - Ladies put some photos up - Isn't the whole point and purpose of this joint to "meet" someone? Color me whatever you want - I expect I'm just getting too old for a blind date.

Dull normal probably says it in a nutshell.

"Does not want children" means I don't want to be attending my kid's graduation at the age of 78 - if you have children - that's fine. It doesn't mean I hate kids though at times maybe W C Fields was right.

If you have the answers for some of these questions - please refrain from telling me - means you're smarter than I am, have things figured out and you'll just hurt my feelings and pride by telling me.

Be prepared to explain "Separated".

If this profile makes sense or interests you - truly - you might want to seek some professional help. If you are able to separate the wheat from the chaff - we might want to talk.

Sunny, they say almost 90% of people on online dating are dysfunctional, married/attached or just plain friggen nuts. 10% if that are serious and normal,

If you really are looking for "sparks" - you drive, I'll hang out the door with a piece of metal, drag it on the road and give you a show.

If you need clicks - the timing chain on my sister's car is starting to go, she trusts me with a key - I could fire it up for you and it clicks like a kitten. Might have to move fast on that one though - I'm supposed to fix it, depending on parts availability it may or may not be audible for long.

I know a nice, quiet little place that will still take food stamps.

Thursdays are out - that's my day with the therapist. Fridays I bowl. Weekends I'm on call at the local Walmart as a greeter. Monday and Tuesday are my meditation days. So - what are you doing Wednesdays?

First you need to get the ok from the half way house supervisor so I can get away for a couple hours. After that - the opportunities are endless:

Change the oil in each other's cars. Ask to borrow a few bucks just til payday.
Go to a chick flick. Go to a rasslin' match. Dine at McDonalds. Dumpster dive for aluminum cans. Sell the cans. Get a jug of Night Train. Bale hay. Feed the hayburners. Clean up after the hayburners. Feed the hayburners again.
Catch nightcrawlers. Throw some flowers off Tallahatchee Bridge. Detassel corn.
Share a jar of pickled pig's feet. Play with the dog's chew toy.

If that don't get your propeller spinnin', how about the old standby? Candlelight dinner (supper where I come from) on a beach next to the fireplace barefoot at sunset violins playing some 60s Beach Boy hits followed by a stroll through an antique store? The new deal seems to be motorcycles - so I best add we'd get to the beach via motorcycles.